Lilypie Waiting to Adopt tickers

Lilypie Waiting to Adopt tickers

Monday 1 April 2013

75 months

Today is my 75-month wait-iversary. One would think that there should be a solid reason why it takes 75 months plus to give a family to a child who needs one. Maybe there are not enough orphans in the world to fill the homes of the waiting parents? Maybe the waiting parents all have evil intentions of trafficking children or using them as servants or removing their organs? Maybe all the waiting parents are using unethical means to arrange adoptions? Maybe all the countries that are turning against adoption are doing so because they can suddenly, magically take care of all their orphans?

There are about 100 million orphans in the world. And that estimate only includes the ones that are known, or fit into someone's arbitrary defnition of "orphan". All the waiting families that I have ever met go through years of personal hell, pay ridiculous fees, give up all privacy and jump through a zillion hoops for the chance to love one of those children. Period. We cannot arrange anything on our own, ethical or not, because the law forces us to use a licensed agency. The system is supposed to regulating those agencies and other stakeholders in sending and receiving countries to make sure they're operating ethically. There are more orphans than ever in the world, but thanks to UNICEF, the Hague Convention and a broken, senseless system, the chances of any of them getting a forever family have become almost impossible. For more on this topic, please watch the documentary Stuck, which is available at www.bothendsburning.org.

Last night, on the eve of 75, I came across a movie called La Misma Luna, the English translation of which is Under the Same Moon. For obvious reasons, I was drawn in by the title. Although it isn't a film about adoption, it was just what I needed to see. This is a movie about a single Mexican mother who is working illegally in the United States to give her son back home a better life. She always tells Carlitos that no matter how far away she is, they are still under the same moon. He is too young to understand why they cant't be together, and he begins to wonder whether she loves him. When his grandmother dies, he runs away to find his mother, and along the way he meets his biological father and a few people who help and care for him like he is their own child. I loved everything about this movie, but I was really moved by all the different kinds of love shown to Carlitos by the people in his life, his mother's commitment to him, and his need to be protected and guided in her absence. I came away feeling inspired, imagining my daughter dreaming of family under the same moon, praying for her protection while we're apart, and believing that somehow, against all odds, my love will bring her home.