patience

I was happy today to read on Francesca's blog that our agency, TDH, has received another referral from the regular program, for a girl just over two years old.  With each referral for round 1, I feel that I'm getting a little closer to having my round 2 dossier assigned to a province for matching.  Who knows, really, but that's how I keep sane.

My patience has been thin this past week (I don't know how much one could possibly have after 5 years, 8 months and 3 weeks), but Alanis Morissette has been my Guardian.  When I first heard this song, I thought it was about being a mom (keeper for life, warrior of care, angel on call).  Then I saw the video and I thought maybe it was about looking after any of the people you love.  Then I read the lyrics and figured it must be about a higher power.  The more I listen, the more I don't know what she means (thank you, Alanis, for brilliant lyrics that make people think and feel so much). And, the more I DO know that every word is resonating with me at this moment in my life as I deal with the pain of my first adoption and this inhumane wait, and long to be my daughter's keeper for life.

I hope this song inspires other waiting parents out there.  We all need to be there for one another, keep holding on, and have faith that someone greater is watching over us and our children.

Guardian

You, you who has smiled when you’re in pain

You who has soldiered through the profane
They were distracted and shut down

So why, why would you talk to me at all
Such words were dishonorable and in vain
Their promise as solid as a fog

And where was your watchman then

I’ll be your keeper for life as your guardian
I’ll be your warrior of care your first warden
I’ll be your angel on call, I’ll be on demand
The greatest honor of all, as your guardian

You, you in the chaos feigning sane
You who has pushed beyond what’s humane
Them as the ghostly tumbleweed

And where was your watchman then

I’ll be your keeper for life as your guardian
I’ll be your warrior of care your first warden
I’ll be your angel on call, I’ll be on demand
The greatest honor of all, as your guardian

Now no more smiling mid crestfall
No more managing unmanageables
No more holding still in the hailstorm

Now enter your watchwoman

I’ll be your keeper for life as your guardian
I’ll be your warrior of care your first warden
I’ll be your angel on call, I’ll be on demand
The greatest honor of all, as your guardian